Humiliation

So, uh, this has nothing to do with Will or anything, but I just have to write about this as I need to sort it out. Eleven years ago Mick and I bought our house we currently live in. We were young. We were in love. We didn't know what the heck we were doing. We wanted something we could afford. We wanted to live here for 5 years tops. Five years went by. We got married. We had a baby. We lost jobs, got new jobs. We got ourselves in debt. The market crashed. Needless to say, we are still here. We are blessed that we own our house. It's a little old ranch house and I love it. I may trash talk it sometimes; but honestly, it's my nice space and I really do like it. There are three main things I think it needs: A dishwasher, another bathroom, and some storage space. These things we are managing along fine without, though. And it is our home.

I suppose it's okay to talk about publicly now. Mick got a super amazing new job! He starts in a week and a half. It's just what he's been wanting all this time. He is going to be a facilities electrical supervisor. This job is going to be so good for him. Full health benefits, vacation pay, sick time, stock options, retirement, etc. All the good stuff! I am so proud of him for getting this job. He has worked so hard all these years putting in his time. We're not getting any younger. He needs something stable with opportunities to advance... and we need to start thinking about the long-term future. So this is such a great thing!

Now, what comes with this new job is that it is in Cheyenne, Wyoming. It would be an hour commute away and a lot longer in the snow. We are starting to realize that we should move closer. Mick's family lives up in Cheyenne. It's a decent city with all the amenities you could possibly need. My family is in the same town we live in now. There is a half-way point that I am willing to move to if needed. It's a half hour between each family. It's actually really pretty convenient both ways. Some people may not understand, but I love my family and I really hate to move away from them. They help me so much and provide me with part of a social life I just don't want to give up. So I think it's very fair to say we will meet half-way between the two families. The school district we would move to is also top-notch for special needs kids, which is a huge concern for me.

So that's our idea. We try to sell our old house. Can we? Can we afford a new house? Will we get enough out of our old house to help with a down payment on a new house? These are questions we are working on now.

Yesterday our friend who is a realtor came over to assess the house situation and all the work we need to do. This is where the humiliation comes in. She right off the bat said, don't worry. I know you live here; you collect things, etc. Well we ran down a list of stuff that we need to do to this house. It is a little scary. I mean, I know things aren't as clean as they should be and there are definitely things that need to be thrown out, but I'm not a hoarder! I can't stand having unused stuff laying around everywhere. Things that are Mick's domain are the garage and the yard. I don't have much to do with those areas. I like to plant flowers and mow. But the big stuff is for him to do. Mick is super busy. He always has been. He works himself ragged most of the time. And having time is one thing, but having extra money to put into this kind of maintenance is a big struggle for us. Anyway, we've let some things go. I didn't realize it was that bad. I think it looks pretty nice here myself. But just running down this list makes me cringe with embarrassment.

All we can do now is get to work and hope to impress the realtor when she sees how much we've done in a few months. It's a little bleak maybe, but I have hope. And also it really depends on getting another loan. I just don't know yet. I've got a few inquiries pending right now. If we can't move, it's not the end of the world. I really do like it here. It's my home.